0

Woman: “woo!” man: “you wanted me to grab yout @$$” stranger: “should we alert the authorities?”

- @JenTucker
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“Look, Ma: a shirt. Grumpy. Since 1937.” “Put that back! Thats a long time to stay grumpy.”

- @onetake
0

because you peed your pants earlier you have to do what i say.

- @materialisticcb
0

man in parking structure to @USCTMB members: “GO OREGON!” me: “hes lucky were in #Disneyland…”

- @elizgeli
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“folks can you all move to the side, we are going to run the goats through” kid: “IS THIS A PARADE!”

- @VirginiaGrimes
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